Change

Never, Never, Never Give Up!!

on February 13th, 2012 by Rob

Heard this the other day (its a good one):

If you are tired of starting over, stop quitting. Easy.

Get Up!!! Get Moving!! Get a Better Life!!!

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Act As If

on November 16th, 2011 by Rob

Fake It Till You Make It

This is something that I have said many many times. And it really is something that I live by. It doesn’t matter if it is weight loss or speaking in public or some other situation…. I try to “Fake it till I make it”.

The phrase is often associated with Alcoholics Anonymous even though it does not appear in either of the books that form the foundation of the AA program, Alcoholics Anonymous or The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. AA to Z; An Addictionary of the 12-Step Culture describes it as a “suggestion often made to newcomers who feel they can’t get the program and will go back to old behavior. The suggestion implies that if the newcomer acts according to the steps and teachings of the program, then the program will begin to work and the anxiety will fall away”.

And it is true. There is no genetic code of how to act. In other words… it is not pre-disposed. You can do anything you want to do. If you are an introvert, become an extrovert. It is as easy as acting as if.

Get up!! Get Moving!! Get a better life!!

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You Can Pick Your Friends

on November 4th, 2011 by Rob

I used this because it is my wife's favorite show

This is a funny story… and I swear it is true.

Not long after I was in the People Magazine Weigh Loss Challenge, I helped to coach/mentor another weight loss group that had formed in the area. There was a girl that was in the group that joined up and decided that she wanted to lose some weight.

Now, as it turned out, she did not last long. I think that the idea of change was too much for her. It was too hard and she was looking for an excuse to get out. But, before she did, Clark had an occasion to call her. Wanted to find out where she was since she had not been showing up for class. When he did, her answering machine said that she was not in. It also stated that she was going to be making some changes in her life and that if she did NOT call you back, it was because you were not a part of the changes. Pretty funny!!!

But, also, pretty good stuff. The bottom line is that if you decide to make some changes in your life… there will be people that inspire you and those that don’t. It is going to be up to you to decide which are which.

In his book Spontaneous Healing, Andrew Weil says: “Make a list of friends and acquaintances in whose company you feel more alive, happier and more optimistic. Pick one whom you will spend some time with this week. And President Calvin Coolidge observed that “Cynics do not create.”

In keeping with the theme of the last few days, we all know that we believe what we tell ourselves over and over. The same goes for what others tell us too. If we have people that “believe in the possibilities” then we will believe it too.

Remember- Get up!! Get moving!! Get a better life!!

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It’s all in Your Head

on November 2nd, 2011 by Rob

So here’s the thing. We all KNOW that we need to Get Up and Get Moving in order to Get a Better Life!! We all KNOW that. I have said it a couple a hundred times…. When I was in the midst of trying to change- I knew what I SHOULD eat— I had been to Weight Watchers, I had been on other diets before.

But what I wanted to do was CHANGE the way I was acting. I wanted to Get Up and Get Moving… but something was getting in my way. What was it? My THOUGHTS. My MIND. My HEAD.

If your thoughts are negative, the results will be negative as well. You will end up feeling negative feelings… sadness, anxiety… whatever.

So, what if it was this kind of a situation. “I am going to get up an hour early tomorrow morning and go for a run before work.” O.K.- Great intentions… then WHAM-O… you hit the snooze, get up only 30 minutes early and automatically you think: “I am a failure”, “I can’t do that”, “I am just too tired in the mornings to do that”, “I can’t do anything right”, “I am always too hung over to get up early”, etc. etc. NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Next thing you know you WILL be a failure. And you will give up. Not only will you give up today, but you will give up tomorrow and the day after that and you will feel depressed because you never do what you say you will do… and Oh, well—- guess I will just have another cheeseburger.

The point to all of this is you DO have some control over these thoughts. But HOW can we do it? How can we change that?

Well, here is one strategy. Pretend this kind of thing happened to a friend. What would you say to them?? Do you think you would berate and shame them for sleeping in ONE MORNING? Not likely. You most likely would give them a pass. You might say— “no problem”. Well, think about that next time you are shaming and berating what should be your BEST friend.

Here are the best ways to help you follow through with your plans… no matter what they are:

1. Keepin’ it Real- don’t over do it. Keep it simple. It is much better to plan a little and get it done than to plan a lot.

2. Just do it- Once again. Keep it simple. If you are trying to make a habit of running in the morning… forget the hand weights and the gym membership…. just run out the door. Make a lap of the neighborhood.

3. Set the Stage- put your clothes out the night before so it is easy to get into them. Put an alarm on your phone AND by your bed.

4. Tell your friends and family…. so they can support you. O.K.- DON’T tell them if they won’t.

These tips should help you to Get up! Get moving!! And Get a better life!!

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Build on the TRUTH

on October 31st, 2011 by Rob

I saw the greatest thing the other day!!! I just HAVE to tell you about it. It is about having a track record of success. In other words, prove to yourself that you can do it.

O.K.- let me set this up. Over my lifetime I have participated in LOTS of therapy… and I don’t mean the physical kind. I mean the head kind. (As a matter of fact, I used to write in the memo section of the checks I wrote to my therapist “head shrinking”- you know, she never said anything about it… so I don’t really know if it ever bothered her. I guess not- I mean, one would think that someone in that role would be assertive enough to tell me if it was a problem.)- Anyway…. different story for a different day. But during all that “head shrinking” she would occasionally suggest to me some light positive affirmations.

Now, I don’t want to suggest that positive affirmations don’t work. Heck, I KNOW the negative ones work. (It just seems so much easier to say those to yourself). I do think they work. But what I read might work better.

For years and years, I was trying to change. I wanted to change more than anything. I had a hard time doing it. As a matter of fact, I told myself so many times that I couldn’t change— and I believed it. (That is how I know that the affirmations work). So, it is true that you will believe whatever you tell yourself.

So, here is the deal. I am all about doing things the faster, easier way. What if we set some little goals and ACCOMPLISHED them. Then we could tell ourselves some good things.

Let’s say that you always think that you can’t finish things. Well let’s get to the business of writing some things down and checking them off of the list. Make a point of it. And I don’t mean BIG things. Make it little things.

1. Respond to e-mail from _________

2. Get out of bed and take a walk around the neighborhood

3. Read one chapter of Zig Ziggler book

Like I said, write these down and then CHECK THEM OFF. Then, go back and you will have VISUAL PROOF that you CAN indeed finish some things.

All I am saying here is that it is easier and quicker to believe something if you have 1. Visual Proof that it is TRUE and 2. YOU LIVED IT! That has to be more convincing than just repeating an affirmation that you don’t believe in the first place.

A few years ago, I read a book (which by the way is a fantastic book) called Life 101. You can get it here. There are a whole series of them. In the book, the author suggested that you say all these affirmations (true or not) up to 1000 times each. I rode around in my car doing this for quite some time. (Another by the way- It starts to sound really strange to yourself after you say “I am worthy” about 900 times). Once again, I am not suggesting that I didn’t get ANYTHING out of this exercise, but I just think that my list/check off is a better plan.

Remember, Get up!!! Get moving!! Get a better life!!!

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Change We Can’t Believe In

on October 28th, 2011 by Rob

O.K.- Yesterday we talked about change. We talked about how, sometimes, it is hard- even if it is a welcome one… one we are STRIVING for.

Well, what if it is not so welcome. What if it is like every change that has ever come down the pike at my office and it is NOT that great. What if it is a new boss. What if it is a new procedure, or the new TPS report that has you down.

Well, this I believe is the way to lead your team through that transition. Now, lets get this straight…. there are people out there that have written dissertations on this stuff. But I believe that these are some good, basic rules to live by.

1. More future, less past- This does not mean we don’t learn from the past. We certainly should. But lets don’t dwell on it. Let’s face it, the change is coming- embrace it and move gracefully towards it.

2. More positive, less negative- go at this from a positive perspective. Most every motivational speaker that I have ever had any contact with suggests that your attitude is the most important thing that there is. Well, it is the truth. If you are positive, your team will be as well. What no one ever seems to mention is that if you are negative, your team will be too.

3. More asking, less answering- As far as I am concerned, the golden rule of sales is to “ask the questions”- be extraordinarily informed about your customer’s business and be prepared to form a partnership. That way you and your customer enter into the best of all worlds… the “win/win”. The same goes here. If you have a group that you are trying to lead through change… or if you are just trying to make it through yourself… more information is going to rule the day. Sometimes, when we lead, we feel like we should know all the answers… and we do know some. However, getting the opinion of others is golden.

4. More We, less Me- There is no I in team… well, as the guy on the Right Guard commercial famously said— “Well, there ain’t no we either.” NOT TRUE. As we move through change, we have to be cognizant of the overall goal, the organizational goal. The perspective of great leaders is always about the team and the goals ahead.

Use these tips to move through Change. Remember…

Get up!! Get moving!! Get a better life!! Despite the Change.

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Change We Can Believe In

on October 27th, 2011 by Rob

Change is one of the most common things in the world. It happens all the time. And what is the deal with us hating it so much?? I mean, take this morning for example. I went to the store by my house on the way to the gym… they CHANGED the coffee that the sell there. Damn- I LIKED that coffee. Now I have to get used to something else.

Well, here is the deal. There are some changes that we make ON PURPOSE. However, that does not necessarily make it easy or something that we always move into without thinking. We may grieve over that change a little. Even if it is welcomed.

I will say this. The better that we become at dealing with change… the better our lives will become.

Leo Tolstoy said— “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself”. I see the wisdom in that statement. But I disagree. I think that MOST people see things about themselves that they would like to change. Doesn’t matter if it is their weight (my problem) or tobacco (my problem) or their finances (my problem) or their job (my problem)—- jeeeeesh, I just realized that I have a lot of problems. Well, let me put it another way. I HAD some problems. But I have been able to address them. Here is how I did it.

1. I found some like minded people and hung out with them. When I was going through the People Magazine Weight Loss Challenge, I was in a boot camp type atmosphere. It was getting together with those people in the boot-camp that really did it for me. They pushed me… and I pushed back. Oh, and I found a mentor. I GOT MOVING in the right direction.

2. I did it over and over again. Till it was a habit. It did not matter if I did not want to get up at 5am and go sweat… or if I wanted to make good healthy food choices. I did it over and over. Even if I didn’t want to do it. I set myself up for success by doing LITTLE things and I got USED to winning the battles. I GOT UP!

3. Doing those things over and over and hanging out with those people made me completely re-frame how I looked at the world. Now don’t get me wrong… I KNEW I needed to lose weight. I KNEW it in my head, but I didn’t know it in my heart. You see, I thought I was happy. I had a job, a wife, kids, lots of friends and I did the thing that I liked to do for the most part. But CHANGING my life by losing weight put the whole world in a new light. I am now more confident as a professional, as a husband, as a father and as a person. The way one successfully CHANGES is to learn that change is an ACTION verb. It is not just the wanting one one end of the scale and the being at the other end… but the DOING in between. The hard work.

Tomorrow- more info on how to manage change if it is not quite as welcome.

Remember, Get up!! Get moving!! Get a better life!!!

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